The Unofficial Diagnosis

Okay, so when the neuro said Multiple Sclerosis, I did not cry. I didn't know anything about MS except for my memories of hearing about the MS Readthon in primary school.

I knew that MS didn't mean impending death. Susan from Neighbours is still kickin' along after all. And she looks alright for a older mother-aged bird.

The neuro explained a few things. He said it was the best time to have MS (Geez I dunno about that statement) because there is so much research going on, and new meds being trialed etc. But there is no cure. Bugger.

This was not my diagnosis. If you have MS you need another MRI in 3-6 months from the initial MRI, then you can be officially diagnosed. This is because the medication, many available through the PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme), is very expensive. So I guess they ('the man') want to 'make sure'? When this was explained to me, (obviously I was in a bit of shock) and the neuro said he couldn't diagnose me then and there I naively asked, "If it's not MS, then what else could it be?" I had this tiny bit of hope that it could be something else that could be fixed. Can you understand why I asked this? You (you being the neuro) just showed me images of my brain that has spots all over it (multiple = many, sclerosis = scars/the spots), and I need to wait another 3-6 months before a second MRI, to 'confirm' it is MS, and THEN I can go on medication? Dumb. Dumb, because his answer to my question was "It can't be anything else but MS". Right, okay.

Neuro asked me if I had any questions. I didn't really have any. Understandably I think. I did ask what I could do in the meantime, as far as dealing with my symptoms. The tingles and weak knee and weird numbness and sensitivity to the temperature of my roll-on deodorant when applied to my right underarm. Nothing. I can do nothing. I was a bit pissed off. But it wasn't long after that I realised how lucky I was not to have some of the other MS symptoms. What are they? I won't list them all, but wee wee issues, temporary blindness in one eye, spasticity. I don't think there is a need to go on. If you want to learn more about what Multiple Sclerosis is, don't expect me to explain. You can check out MS Australia. About.com is also quite comprehensive. Click here to travel direct with no stopovers. Perhaps make yourself a tea, coffee or cold drink upon arrival.

I actually felt okay at the time. I felt calm. I felt like I had accepted the news. I knew that at some point it would sink in properly. But at the time, then and there, I felt fine. Absolutely fine.

I stepped out of the hospital and I called my mum as I walked to my car.