Too many goodbyes

WOW! My last post was in July...and it is now mid-November with holiday and christmas cheer not far away.

I am currently feeling like utter rubbish. I have a sinus infection. Sinusitis. Head wanting to explode. Red raw nose, Sore upper set of pearly whites. Manky feeling ears. I could get gross, but I think you get the idea. I am into day 5, and I think today is the worst day. Hopefully that means from here, I will improve. I am quite impressed with myself really. I know I haven't taken any sick days for at least the time I have been on contract...that's pretty good!

Mad Sascha has been laying low. Sometimes she is woken when I am sick...and there has been a little weakness in the legs, but no biggie.

I did have to postpone my last Tysabri infusion to this coming Friday. Oh yes, my JC virus blood test came back negative since my last post. Always a relief, especially when it will be up to that 2 year time thing next April.

I remember being told that you shouldn't have an infusion when you're sick. Hence, my postponing. However, yesterday I realise that I may not be 100% by this coming Friday so I frantically called the MS nurse...and she assured me I would be fine. Where I go for my infusion is an infusion centre. Nah der. So a lot of the patients there are immunocompromised. THIS is why they don't want us Tysabri takers coming in and spreading our germy-love. I felt a bit stupid. Here I was thinking...can I have MY infusion? What will happen to ME? Me-h. Idiot.

Now, a few things have happened.

My grandmother passed away.
My step-dad passed away.
I have had a contract since my last post.
I went to New Zealand.

My darling, amazing, beautiful Mama. What a shock. My heart is so sad that she is gone. But she left with no pain and she left a few days after I saw her. About a week after my last post, in fact. I miss her. Sometimes I just want to call her and tell her something and hear her little voice. I wish I could have told her how amazing New Zealand was...a place that she herself loved so much..the thermal baths. The stink of Rotorua. And boy, did that place fucking stink! M took me to see The Sound of Music musical...if I could only just call her to tell her about it. Just every now and then, it's very tough.

But not as tough as what my mum has been feeling...losing her mother, who annoyed her, but she loved dearly and would do, and DID do, anything for. THEN...her soulmate, Chris. My step-dad. Too soon, just way too soon.

Unfortunately Chris passed away the day after M and I arrived in NZ. Despite this happening, New Zealand was amazing. Such beautiful scenery. Breathtaking. Very friendly folk. Great beers. Yummy food. Why hadn't I been earlier? Maybe the earthquake thing? Yeah, actually, that's it. I am not going to lie...earthquakes were always on the back of my mind. I felt uneasy staying in large buildings. We were lucky we didn't feel anything. And yes, I understand that they occur all the time.

Since I began my 5 week contract, I gained another 5 week contract, THEN I landed a 9 week contract. All at the same school...teaching students with disabilities. I just completed their reports last week (thank goodness! I don't think I'd have the mental capacity to write them while my head feels like it does atm). They are wonderful. So funny. Some are challenging, but all magical little souls.

As for work next year...nothing concrete as yet. Lots of maybes. All I keep thinking is...it can't be any worse than the start of this year where I worked a total of 10 days over 10 weeks in term 1. I didn't know anyone, and no one knew how awesome I was! Haha. Now, at least some people know. I have a good solid rapport with 5 schools. All these schools have had a taste of my teaching more than once. Gotta love a callback. A good sign I am liked 😊

Mum and the sis are coming for a Radelaidean christmas. I think they're gonna want a tree. 😐

The only way is up, isn't it?

Hello all!

I am writing this blog post on my tiny holiday...if you could even call it that. 3 days in Brisbane catching up with a great friend of mine whom I worked with at Sussan on Pitt St back when I couldn't get any teaching work (the year after I finished my degree, 2007). Also seeing the dad...and then off to Canberra for 3 days to see the mum, the step dad, the sis and the darling grandmother. It's not a complete holiday...but it will do for now. There is another one coming up in October where we will be visiting NZ. I am really excited about that one...as long as craft beer is just a small part, not the majority.

First thing to discuss...Mad Sascha. She's been alright. No new symptoms. Just tiredness at times...a few drunken-like sober imbalances at times, involuntary twitching of the leg at times and at times some leg weakness.

What prompted me to write this blog was those darn facie memories that pop up on my feed, and one popped up about my very first Tysabri infusion last year in Sydney. That was a very nervous time for me...with the whole PML business (rare brain infection...google it or see previous posts) and my stupid veins who seem to fear any kind of intrusion.

I still pop a Valium for each infusion to take the edge off the PML related thoughts and to put up with the cannula insertion. The infusion before last, it took 4 goes. That sucked.

Ideally, people will take Tysabri with a low risk of getting PML, for up to 2 years after which the risk increases. However, my Neuro in Sydney said that if I were to remain JC Negative, I can potentially continue the Tysabri treatment beyond the 2 years. I am due for a JC virus test this month...so fingers crossed it stays negative because the idea of having to go onto a fourth drug just frightens me. Will someone just find a cure ffs?!

However, what scares me is what I would decide if I am JC positive. I have an appointment with the neurologist coming up in early August...so I guess a plan B, or other options need to be explored. Tysabri is a bit of a wonder drug...for the moment anyway.

I have a few friends who have stopped or are trying to stop medication for pain and management of their silly illnesses/disorders/whatever and for varying personal reasons. I admire them and believe they are very brave and tough. Personally, considering my medication is taken to reduce disability and progression, I can't go drug free. In saying that, I am quite fortunate that I do not suffer any pain and therefore do not need any secondary medication to manage my symptoms. I do take thyroxine for my thyroid and Lexapro for my anxiety/panic. I am a chronic worrier (not to be confused with 'warrior'). People might laugh, or get frustrated with my irrational fear/worry...but it's not really laughable. It's quite serious and although I wouldn't say it affects my daily doings, it does influence some of my decisions. I want to be safe and negate disaster...hence we are not going to Christchurch, because I am worried about earthquakes. Ridiculous right? Yup, and what's worse is that I completely acknowledge this. Slap me now.

In other areas of Mad Sascha's life...work has picked up. This has been wonderful. I have secured a 5 week, Monday to Thursday contract at a school's disability unit, teaching students with mild intellectual disabilities. It's a school I have had a few days casual at. They approached to see if I was available (months ago). And boom! I got the gig officially on the Saturday just passed. I'm grateful, don't get me wrong...but my aim/goal/want/need is still full time permanent.

There are others things that need work in my life. And that is no surprise for anyone in regards to their own lives. Life is had work. But I guess we just need to keep on keeping on and hope things go up if they are down...even though we know we can't be high all the time. Right?

It is working!

Welcome to my second post from Radelaide and second post of 2016...2016, shit. Time flies!

I just had to scan over my last post to remember where I need to start on this one!

Luckily for M, the place he picked, satisfied (except for the absence of a dishwasher). We have now been living in this home for a little over 3 months and yes, there are still bits and pieces not really where they should be (records, paintings, other bits and bobs), but we have settled in nicely.

We've got great neighbours, we are growing tomatoes, shallots and capsicum and we live 3 kms from Adelaide city centre. Top spot.

The Adelaide Fringe has been and was excellent fun, we saw Spiderbait and drank beer without a care, and we made it to one night of WOMADelaide. Fun costs a fortune.

While all that good stuff was going on...I was getting out there and personally handing in my CV, teaching registration and the all important 'Authority to Teach' letter to a few schools. 30 schools.  But all up I made contact with 40 schools. Yes, 40 schools. All public, of course.

I went as far as Salisbury, up to Mount Baker and down south to Christies Beach.

Who would not want to employ me? Seriously.

Unfortunately, just like most industries, it's not what you know but who you know, and I know no one. Yup. Cue tears.

With this in mind, it was understandable that it took a while until I got my first TRT (temporary relief teacher) day. Someone took a chance on someone new - me!

Then another week I got a call from a different school.
Then I also did a volunteer day at a disability unit.
Shortly after the DU called me in for TRT.
And then I volunteered at a special education centre, and, well, a student kind of attacked me in what would be otherwise seen at this site as a 'normal' part of a teacher's day...but unfortunately I could not confidently say that I would be able to take a class there as a TRT. It was a true eye opener and I am glad I gave it a go. I have a new found ginormous respect for the teachers and staff working in these schools. AMAZING. I believe they get paid a little extra, but they should be paid a lot extra.

So these dribs and drabs of teaching were coming my way plus I was trying to volunteer at a few places (usually with no response). I had good rapport with 2 schools. Plus I was confident I might get more work at the school with the DU, and I was called, but I had already been booked!

I also did a day though the recruitment agency at a private school (Catholic). That was...hmmm okay. "Miss, can we work on our Religious Studies assignment?"
Me, in my head, "Fuck, please don't ask me for help."
"Miss, I am having trouble writing my response."
Easy?! No. No, no, no.
A 'response' in a religious context is, like, heaps different than a usual response. I had to google it.

One term has now ended and I worked a total of 10 days. 10 fucking days, over 11 weeks. SO SAD.

I also applied for 6 jobs with the department. 3 were curriculum support positions, and the other 3 were teaching positions. I got 5 rejections, but got shortlisted for one of the teaching positions...but didn't get it. Bummer.

I got a principal in trouble. I emailed her about 2 positions (curriculum support), asking a couple of questions. In her reply, she did not address any of my questions...instead she simply wrote:

...to be very honest with you we currently have an SSO who is in the position and the advertising of it is a formality only - it is highly likely she will be a front runner.

I made an official complaint. I did this because I thought, "Fuck. So is this the norm for all the advertised positions? What hope do I have?!" and I also thought what a stupid woman to disclose that - even though I KNOW it goes on...don't fucking tell me! And don't put it in fucking writing. This was not a time to be honest and I love honestly but wrong time my dear. Sorry, but what a moron. 

She ended up removing herself from the panel. Like that would matter! So the assistant principal took her place. Big whoop.

I got a call from the Ethical Conduct Unit. Meh. It's just strange that when I have mentioned this experience to other TRTs or teachers, their reaction does not show the same level of disgust or disappointment that I had. Is it me? Am I too naive to assume that educators have the same high work ethic as I do?

ANYWAY. Rant over.

The GREAT news is...I've got 3 weeks work.

I received a call on the last day of term asking about my photography and design experience. Yeah man, I have experience in both! Sure, call my referee. Hello? You're getting a bargain you say? Um, yeah you are.

When the teacher I am replacing called me, I realised that it is not an ART position, but Design and Technology. This is fine. It leaves me a little nervous, but all the work is clearly set out and I'll be teaching 10, 11 and 12. How good! SO excited. VERY nervous. I might even make friends...ahh I miss my friends. Friends, I miss you.

Mad Sascha...I have had unofficial word (today) that Tysabri is working for me and I am to continue forward with this form of medication. Let's just hope I stay JC Virus negative, then I can continue on the infusions without thinking too much about the deadly PML rare brain thingy. Yucky.

I suppose this would have been a shorter post if I had friends to talk to about my work journey! At least it ended on a high, right?

Ra Ra Radelaide!

Well hello there.

We got to Adelaide, survived Christmas, just made it through New Years and we won the housing  battle!

The final week in Sydney was a pretty crazy one that went super fast.

It was sad and surreal leaving my wonderful workplace. I will miss it and its people a lot (including the students). I just hope I can nab a job here in Radelaide once school is in full swing. This is probably my most major stressor right now - but I am still technically employed until January 26th.

Our trip started by dropping into Canberra to say goodbyes to Mum, my step dad and of course my darling little grandmother, Mama. Mum put on a lovely spread which we gobbled up quickly, then we were back on the road with our next stop being Wagga Wagga - so good they had to name it twice (Thanks Megs for that one - I hope I got it right).

Wagga is great. And you can't visit Wagga without stopping in at the Thirsty Crow and indulging in a Vanilla Milk Stout. Delicious. Then it was Thai for dinner, followed by a few more drinks... it was the start of my holidays after all!

Thanks to my amazing sister for having us. I cried when I had to say a final goodbye in the morning. Loser.

I mentioned it was hot right? Yeah, well it was really hot. Our next stop was Tooleybuc. Why? Because when I looked at the map from Wagga to Adelaide it kinda seemed halfway. Don't worry, we did stop in Hay. You can't drive through the Hay Plains without a pit stop in Hay.

It was 42 degrees. Pretty shit huh? I dreaded the forecast, but in fact, it wasn't so bad because it was dry - very very different from Sydney, and polar opposites of D-Town humidity. It was Sascha survivable, Mad Sascha survivable.

Tooleybuc was funny. We hit the sports club for dinner and drinks. Some bird was having a chat to us. I think she was a bit pissed (have you seen how they fill the wine glasses at those places?! To tha brim mate!) and a bit not well. And I am not sure how much time she had spent in the pokie hell that exists in those joints too. She started to tell us about Sue and Tom in Brighton, and we should say hello when we see them. Then she sat down with us. Mark could not have been any colder towards her but she was not picking up what he was putting down. I think she then started to get racist or something, because I really wanted to tell her to fuck off. I didn't. But it did put a quick shutdown on our 'night out'. We retired at a reasonable hour, then the next day was the last leg!

And the forecast for Adelaide just for Sascha's arrival? 44 degrees. Whhhhhy you do this to me!?

We arrive. It's hot, but it's okay. Sascha survivable. Sascha's surprised.

Mark and I dumped our stuff at our excellently positioned accommodation, showered and hit the town like a pair of hot potatoes. We went to 5 awesome bars that night - so if you wanna shit on Adelaide, you suck and I don't like you and you can stay away.

So the next thing, and really this is the only bit that really relates to Mad Sascha, the other parts of this post are just about me talking about me and moving and stuff - soz. 

My appointment at Flinders Medical Centre. Medical Centre means hospital. I didn't realise that. So I got lost finding the neurology bit - leave me alone, I was nervous and anxious. I had to be walked there by some poor staff member I flagged down, while Mark parked the car. By the time I got to the right spot, Mark was already there. Ha!

"Oh hi Sascha, yeah we have no record of your appointment. But you have one in February."

Here we go. This is what happens when you don't pay the big bucks to see a specialist who has his own corner office in a nice building and a mean but very capable secretary or PA even.

I explained that I was contacted in like September or something, and told my appointment was here and now and I am here and the time is 9am, so?

We had to wait. The lady gave us a voucher for a free drink at the coffee shop. Okay then. Thanks lady.

We go to the coffee shop. I ask if I can get a chai latte. The mole behind the counter says it's not on the voucher, so I can't get it. Ok, fuck you, you cranky hag, I'll take a water then. Is that on the fucking voucher? I was a little bit pissed off.

When we returned at 10:30, we waited some more. Mark bought an Irvine Welsh book.

I would have left at 9am, however, I needed to know details of my next Tysabri infusion. I explained this at the very start.

I ended up seeing Professor Slee's fellow, Erin. She was nice. Not really very apologetic and I wasn't relaxed because I felt I was a pain in the ass, rushed and taking unnecessary time away from other patients.

A few days later, amongst the last minute Christmas present buying on Christmas eve, we got the go ahead to seek housing in the private rental market! Best news. But of course, we now needed to wait for the Christmas and New Years holiday period to be done, then we (we as in me) could go searching for a property.

This was awesome news! For months and months I had my eye on realestate.com.au

As Mark had to start work, I went around to all the places. Out of the 9 places I had written down to attend their open inspections, 2 I saw with Mark, and 1 I assigned to Mark because it clashed with a few others. And yup, that's the one that we got! Typical aye?

So I have not seen the place, except when we did a drive by (not shooting - too soon?).

Look, it's not a mansion, and it's not super new and nice. It has blue carpet for fuck's sake. However...it's in a killer kick-ass spot. Close to the city. Close to my infusion hospital. Close to Mark's work. Close to cafes. Close to pubs. Close to shops. Very central for me to get work - I can go north, south east or west. And there are trees and grass and stuff - though I am not a nature person (as many of you are aware), it's nice to have that stuff.

We move this week. I am pretty excited. We fought hard to be close to my specialist. And we won. I got emo when Mark told me we got the place, especially after he tricked me and said we didn't (why do people do that?!).

Anyways, I am loving it here in Adelaide.

Just need a job now. Spread the word, will you? Thanks. Bye.