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So I have been to see the exercise physiologist. It went okay. Although the disappointing news was that she is unable to diagnose me as having spasticity. Instead, she can help me gain and maintain my strength and mobility.

As it was the initial consultation, she went through all those kinds of health questions...have I had a stroke, how much do I exercise, the pain I get in my knee and when I get it, how long I can exercise before the awkwardness of my leg occupies my mind, am I stressed (what teacher isn't?!), do I have diabetes etc. I think you get the picture.

She pointed out that the MS and heat are not a good combo, and I was like, "Yeah I know that! Plus I have 'issues' with my thyroid too" Argh!

Then I had to do a few things like walk briskly for 6 minutes on the treadmill whilst wearing a heart monitor thingy. This was a struggle only in that my balance goes a bit weirdo with my left leg and keeping up the pace once I got started was difficult to maintain, so she had to lower the speed...then it was generally okay.

I had to do some flexibility stuff, which I didn't do too badly at, but there is a notable difference between my left and right legs. But my glutes are awesome - yay! My butt is great!

So her suggestions are to start slow with low intensity - some stretching and mild cardio stuff. Hamis and quads for stretches and 10-15 mins on the stationary bike, every second day.

But some questions remain unanswered...why is my knee stiff? Is it a direct result of Mad Sascha?

I highlighted the fatigue and heat as being things that have affected my motivation to do exercise, on top of my knee stiffness. Most of her suggestions I have tried in the past. One was that I should do exercise at certain times of the day i.e. morning and after 6pm, when the weather is 'cooler'. I wanted to laugh out loud. After all, she did just see me sweat like a mofo after like 2 minutes on the treadmill (in air con!). Do I need to again remind you that Sascha and heat do not go? They do not go so much so that it affects my socialising. Yes, we must get a table inside and enjoy the expensive air conditioning, rather than the balmy breeze outside. Is that venue air conditioned? Because if it's not, I can't go. Oh yes I would love to go to that outdoor music festival, but do they have some kind of outdoor air conditioning (uncomfortable laugh)? And there have been moments where I will do these things and do my best to believe that I will be okay and it won't bother me. Only moments later do I regret it. It's really fucking sad.

Do you understand me? Can you understand this? Do I understand it? Should I just toughen the fuck up and deal with it? No pain, no gain?

I wish I could be funnier in this post. But not today. Today I feel like a useless lump of existence.

Now excuse me while I make my dinner.

A heap

Hello dear readers. How are we all?

It is closing in on the end of September and I guess it is time for an update again.

The left leg is still annoying me. Numbness/altered sensation yadda yadda yadda.

Today I saw my GP. I needed a prescription filled and I wanted to ask about the tightness I have been feeling in my left knee (How long for? Months I think :-/).

I really had to push to get any kind of attention. It was most difficult explaining that the altered sensations were a separate issue to the stiffness in my knee. It has been affecting how I walk and is worse at night and in the morning. Surely there is something for this??? I have no doubt that it is MS related and I also had to emphasise that I experience this tightness ALL THE BLOODY TIME. As I have explained before, it is not painful as such, but I certainly cannot handle kneeling (don't go to the gutter please). When M does my needle at the top of my butt butt I lay on my stomach and getting into that position and coming out of it can be troublesome. Troublesome in that I feel like a wounded walrus attempting to get back into my usual vertical human existence. Why? The knee! I cannot place any pressure on it, and it's not a joint thing. It's not a muscle thing. It's an altered sensation stiffness thing - this sounds like I am going back on what I just explained with the altered sensation and stiffness being separate I know...oh geez, so are they separate issues? Shit. Now I am confused.

So the end result was organising a health plan thingy to see an exercise physiologist. This comes under the Team Care Arrangement plan for those with 'Complex Chronic Medical Condition' (Oh yeah that's me!). This means I can receive up to 5 sessions with an exercise physiologist at a heavily rebated rate. I am a little skeptical. I am not sure what they can offer me. I would like to be able to be more active, but it's been a real bitch lately with this knee business. And I know M would like me to get out of the air con more. We will see how it goes. The appointment is next week. I am hoping that they might be able to diagnose me more accurately than the GP. I did question her and asked if it could be spasticity, but no direct answer was given...possibly because she just doesn't know?

Now to touch on the Hashimoto's aspect of my health. I still get hot. Sweaty. Gross. I am due for another blood test for my thyroid and I am hoping that my thyroxine dose will be increased a little more. The heat thing is really not pleasant, particularly with the current weather conditions here in D-Town. No rain (yet), just sizzling heat. Oh yeah, and the air conditioning at work was broken for about 2 hours this morning - JOY.

I did manage to get a few days off work too. Yes I have a good reason! Don't go assuming that I am using my MS as an excuse. I am using it as a REASON. Thank you Naomi for pointing this out a few weeks back - in a different context but under the chronic illness umbrella.

I have been coordinating an art exhibition at work. Not a little one. Not a school only one. A community art exhibition - encompassing the schools in the area AND artists (trained or not). It has been eating away at me for the past 3 weeks (it all ceases tomorrow, phew!). It has been eating at my teaching (my actual job). Eating at my emotions. Eating at my time (oh my time!). Eating at my patience with people (educators included) who either cannot (oh man I hope that isn't the case) or DO NOT READ! Do not get me started. All I will say is, read the instructions people.

I also had a prac teacher to supervise, which was really a blessing in disguise (not like a religious one). Lucky she was a good one! And then there were reports to do.

I have been pushing myself the past few weeks. Sweating my ass off. Organising. Emailing. Back and forth and all around from the staffroom, the admin office, the finance office, the gym, the storage room twenty million times a day. Buying booze for the opening. Moving stuff. Oh Em Gee! My body is just like, "What the hell?" I just want to sleep and do nothing and then feel better for it.

So, I was given tomorrow and Monday off with a medical certificate. But I am not taking tomorrow off. I can't. I have stuff to do. Is this wrong of me? Some might say yes. But I just can't. I think it has to do with some high work ethic I have. I dunno.

On some lighter notes, M had flowers sent to work for me. Not for any reason. Just because. And you must all try the Macro Organic Tomato and Chilli Pasta Sauce from woolies served with homemade pasta. It is fucking delish!