Extra Adipose Tissue - do you want some?

Woohoo! We did it...embarrassingly late (and at a ridiculous monetary and social cost!), but we did it...same sex marriage is now LAW. Wonderful news indeed.

I guess the last few months have been pretty good. Except for the extra adipose tissue - I will get to that later.

I recovered well from my nose operation. However, at the beginning of the school term (term 4), I became really unwell and it took me 4-5 weeks to recover. That's a long fucking time to be feeling like shit! I had 5 doctor appointments over that period of time. One thought I might have allergies. One female doctor was fucking useless, pretty, dressed nice, but basically a mole. At one stage I was urged by my GP to go back to see the ENT just in case my being sick had anything to do with my operation. It did not, and funnily enough, after this appointment, I began to feel human again, finally!

A lot of people with MS feel sick A L L of the time. At this stage, I do not. But I do feel the effects of being in the heat. As most of you know, the weather dictates my life during summer. This makes my social life hellish and difficult to manage. I just cancelled a met up with a friend yesterday, due to the weather. This is an extremely depressing part of living with my version of MS. If you didn't know this, it's because I want to hide it. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be 'that' difficult person. If I push myself and just pretend I am all good, it is quite certain that later that day, or the next, I will feel very tired and needing rest/naps/sleeping. That's fine, but not when I got shit to do, like work. And when I 'rest' in whatever form, I feel like a lazy fuck.

I have been inactive and eating to feel satisfied, because sometimes life is hard and when I was sick, I was very upset and cried every few days. Crying because I wanted nothing more to feel normal again.

I stopped going to Pilates and I haven't been to the gym in months. I see a psychologist about all this (and other life things).

That extra adipose tissue (aka fat) 'does not define me'. Yes, yes. I know that. I'm not a fucking teenage girl. I accept that this is me, however,   I   D O   N O T   A P P R O V E. Acceptance is not approval. Anyway, I guess I am on some journey to change my thinking. Cognitive behavioural therapy. Just give me drugs? I work hard enough in other areas of my life.

ANYWAYSSSS. I won a permanent teaching position. I WON A PERMANENT TEACHING POSITION. Wow. It's at a tough school, in the disability unit. However, a HUGE percentage of students have a trauma background. It's going to be challenging, but I am excited and totally up for it.

In other AMAZING news. I have reconnected with my best friend after about 6 years or so! And you know what? We just picked up from where we left off and it all feels lovely.

Happy holidays all!