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So I have been to see the exercise physiologist. It went okay. Although the disappointing news was that she is unable to diagnose me as having spasticity. Instead, she can help me gain and maintain my strength and mobility.

As it was the initial consultation, she went through all those kinds of health questions...have I had a stroke, how much do I exercise, the pain I get in my knee and when I get it, how long I can exercise before the awkwardness of my leg occupies my mind, am I stressed (what teacher isn't?!), do I have diabetes etc. I think you get the picture.

She pointed out that the MS and heat are not a good combo, and I was like, "Yeah I know that! Plus I have 'issues' with my thyroid too" Argh!

Then I had to do a few things like walk briskly for 6 minutes on the treadmill whilst wearing a heart monitor thingy. This was a struggle only in that my balance goes a bit weirdo with my left leg and keeping up the pace once I got started was difficult to maintain, so she had to lower the speed...then it was generally okay.

I had to do some flexibility stuff, which I didn't do too badly at, but there is a notable difference between my left and right legs. But my glutes are awesome - yay! My butt is great!

So her suggestions are to start slow with low intensity - some stretching and mild cardio stuff. Hamis and quads for stretches and 10-15 mins on the stationary bike, every second day.

But some questions remain unanswered...why is my knee stiff? Is it a direct result of Mad Sascha?

I highlighted the fatigue and heat as being things that have affected my motivation to do exercise, on top of my knee stiffness. Most of her suggestions I have tried in the past. One was that I should do exercise at certain times of the day i.e. morning and after 6pm, when the weather is 'cooler'. I wanted to laugh out loud. After all, she did just see me sweat like a mofo after like 2 minutes on the treadmill (in air con!). Do I need to again remind you that Sascha and heat do not go? They do not go so much so that it affects my socialising. Yes, we must get a table inside and enjoy the expensive air conditioning, rather than the balmy breeze outside. Is that venue air conditioned? Because if it's not, I can't go. Oh yes I would love to go to that outdoor music festival, but do they have some kind of outdoor air conditioning (uncomfortable laugh)? And there have been moments where I will do these things and do my best to believe that I will be okay and it won't bother me. Only moments later do I regret it. It's really fucking sad.

Do you understand me? Can you understand this? Do I understand it? Should I just toughen the fuck up and deal with it? No pain, no gain?

I wish I could be funnier in this post. But not today. Today I feel like a useless lump of existence.

Now excuse me while I make my dinner.