Good stuff and things - yay!

Well, you might be wondering what my previous post was all about. What does it mean? No. New. Lesions.

I am back in D-Town from my Sydney visit which consisted of a bit of fun, but the main purpose was to get my MRI, see the neuro and the dermo. But the dermo was cancelled, because I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid - the symptoms I am experiencing have been attributed to the thyroid issue which resulted in the dermo cancellation. And I probably didn't need to explain that to you. Anyway...

I have already gone through the whole "Let's find Sascha's veins" which occurred twice in one day, but I am yet to share what went down during my neuro appointment.

It was on Monday this week, and I went along with my mum. I was all calm until a few days before. It began to really consume all my thoughts...those 'what ifs' reared their ugly head again (again, damnit!). M was unable to come along, as he had to come back here to D-Town for work (geez I love work - Butterfinger reference there). My appointment was originally the Thursday before, but this was postponed. Specialists need time off too ya know! I had copies of my MRI. I had a peek at them, but then remembered that I was a school teacher and not a neurologist who specialised in Multiple Sclerosis.

So we were on time for the appointment. Dr S was running a tad late, but not enough to whinge about.

It got to my turn. Mum and I walked in, greeted by the neuro. All good.

We sat down, and he looked over my previous notes. I hadn't seen him since July-ish last year.

I informed him about the new meds I was on...the Pristiq and thyroxine. Blah blah blah. Boring! What does that stupid MRI say!?

Silence.

Dr S was looking at the computer at my MRI. I couldn't see the screen. Not that I would know what to look for anyway. I was getting anxious. I was attempted to read his face. Let's just say I have no future career in reading body language or facial expressions. C'mon man! Say something.

During this time, he asked me about any new symptoms. I explained my twitching thumb and my eye wide open. He multitasks very well.

I, of course, began to think, 'Okay so he has seen some new lesions or active ones and wants to know if these 'symptoms' I am reporting correlate with the lesion's positions on my brain and spine.'

Sascha! FFS (that stands for 'for fuck's sake' for anyone unsure)! You need to stop these trains of negative thought! Agreed?

Once I finished my reporting of these 'symptoms' he did not seem too concerned at all. Just as I had read, symptoms need to be fairly consistent for more than 24hours.

Then...he says, "You have no new lesions, and the ones you have, have shrunk/decreased in size".

OHHHhhhh yeahhhhHHhhhhh! High fives! Success dance! Yesssss!

The drugs are working. You hear that 'The Verve'!? They are working!

Okay, so this is sweet news. I am totally stoked. Mum is rejoicing.

I ask about a few things...mainly my heat intolerance.

Basically, I get hot. I break a sweat washing the dishes. Getting ready for work. Doing simple everyday tasks. Brushing my teeth. And so on. All this heat stuff REALLY got up my goat during the 'build up' last year. It was evident prior to this that my heat sensitivity/intolerance/whatevs was something that I was experiencing on a daily basis, but during the build up, it was bloody awful.

Anyways, I bought myself a thermometer. I would measure my temperature when I got hot. My internal temp was normal. Now this puzzled me because from what I have read, when you get hot with MS, your internal temp rises and your symptoms were exacerbated. This wasn't necessarily representative of my heat intolerance experiences. BUT, with MS having such individual affects on sufferers, I just figured I had a weirdo version of heat intolerance that was not identified in typical MS descriptions.

So I questioned the neuro about this. "No, that heat intolerance is not MS heat intolerance. It is likely to be related to your thyroid".

But...but...but no. I want answers and I want to know what things are what and what is MS and what isn't and I don't want anything else to be wrong with me. I am 30 (now I am actually 31 - yeah, had a birthday) FFS.

Initially, this really upset me. Sounds so ridiculous considering the great news I had just received about having No. New. Lesions. But this news overtook that. Then I came back down to Earth and jumped off of the 'woe is me' planet.

So...I have been lying all this time. My heat intolerance is NOT MS related. I am sorry. I know that it might sound dumb of me to apologise, but I did (and still maybe a little bit do) feel stupid about making such a fuss over being so hot all the time. However, it's not all in my head. It's not normal. And really what I am hoping is that the thyroxine is going to help with my heat sensitivity/intolerance/whatevs. I just need to wait about 5 weeks for it to really kick in.

If it DOES improve, I will be a new person. Seriously. This heat thing is a massive stressor for me. Just ask M.

I think that's enough for today, don't you?